What Happened to the Fucking Net?

Towards the end of last November I resigned from my £42k a year job because I hated it. Me and my husband had decided we’d follow John Burrough’s advice – “leap and a net will appear”.

The net would take the form of us selling our house by the time I finished my job (three months, that can happen, right?) and then Jeff would give his one week’s notice and we’d travel the country living off the proceeds of the sale until I was making enough money from comedy bookings for us to eat once or twice a week. If we were careful we could manage two years before the money ran out and we both got real jobs again.

Two years to make it!

By some miracle, the net appeared! Just has Julia had promised. At the beginning of December we had an offer on the house. We were, like so many people on Facebook these days, feeling blessed.

My notice period dragged from 2017 into 2018 until eventually it was the end of February 2018 and I was packing up the house so we could ride off into the sunset waving goodbye to all the silly fuckers working jobs they hate so they can pay a mortgage on a house they’ll probably never own. Smug, smug, smug little me.

It was also the end of February 2018 when my husband Jeff was diagnosed with cancer. “Which cancer?” I hear you ask. Everyone asks that, I don’t know why. I assume people have a personal rating system for cancer where some are worse than others. I don’t think it makes a difference to the canceree; whichever it is it’s about to play shit with their lives.

It was lung cancer. [Ooh, the bad one]. This is off the chart for most people’s cancer rating systems, somewhere between I-wish-I-hadn’t-asked-now and dead.

Actually, we have discovered that Jeff is young and fit (everything’s relative, the average age for a lung cancer diagnosis is 70), so he will be cured by the end of the summer and we can carry on our merry way. That’s how we get through each day, firmly believing that he will win this fight. Why would you live any other way?

How am I? Well bless you for asking.

I’m pissed off.

We chucked in our soul sucking jobs to live outside of societal norms and experience more freedom before it was too late. Most people wait until they’re retired but not us, we could be dead before then. We were prepared to take a risk, certain that the Universe would reward us for our bravery with a life of peace and abundance. The timing is almost comical. In the words of every child ever; IT’S NOT FAIR!

Fuck you, John Burrough.

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