Results for category "Combe Martin"

Blood Bath in Combe Martin!


On Bank Holiday Monday, a man was shot at least seven times in the sleepy village of Combe Martin, Devon while members of the public watched on and cheered.

Hugh O’Neill the Earl of Tyrone (aka ‘The Earl of ‘Rone’) had been hiding out in Lady’s Wood all weekend surviving on nothing but sea biscuits before his capture at around 6pm. It’s understood he was forced to flee Ireland for reasons unknown, but unofficial reports indicate that Jedward are helping the police with their enquiries.
Amid much shouting and gunshot, the masked fugitive was captured and dragged out of the woods by a group of Grenadiers adorned with multi-coloured ribbons.

Once out onto the village street, he was sat upon a donkey ‘backsy-fore’ (back to front) and paraded through the village towards the beach for all to see.

Frequently on his journey, he was shot off the donkey by the Grenadiers only to be revived by a fool and a hobby horse and popped back on to continue to his terrible fate.

The procession included the chaps and maids of the village who turned out in their finery to celebrate the capture of such a dangerous criminal. There was much merriment and cacophony as the maids danced feverishly to the sound of accordions, drums and fiddles.

The 1.5 mile parade from the woods to the sea took around three hours as the donkey required frequent rests, often outside one of the many pubs along the route.

At around 9pm the crazed mob arrived at the shore and there was much wailing, jeering and drumming as they encircled the poor wretch on the beach. The guns were fired once more and the Earl of Rone lay dead on the beach. Everyone cheered as four of the Grenadiers picked up his lifeless corpse and ran into the sea where it was flung out into the tide much the appreciation of the watching crowds.

Jeff and Meg eagerly await the final act
In all seriousness, this was an excellent evening’s entertainment and Jeff and Meg were glad they hung around for the final spectacle. We plan to go next year, but will rent rooms so we can join in this extravagant pub crawl more actively!